Hopefully I'll find out tomorrow that I'm getting better! :D

Over a week later and I'm still absolutely miserable.

Is this ever going to get better?

Well my trip to the ER this week was exciting.

Found out I'm extremely anemic.

Almost had to have a blood transfusion. May still have to have one.

Have to take iron pills that make me beyond sick.

I also have to go back to the doctor to have blood work every few weeks to see if my iron level is increasing.

Work is hard when you're sick, fuck sitting is hard when you're this sick. I really used to think I was pretty tough when it came to pain and being sick, but really this is killing me and I have to keep living my life normally. I can't just sit around and do nothing all the time because I'm sick. I have to live while being this sick. Its awful. I never expected it to be fun and I'm pretty supportive of others that I've known that are sick, but I really didn't expect it to be this hard.

Wish me well. Time for bed.

Marriage is terrifying.

My babes is doing well. Hes looking oh so cute! : )

On another note. I fail at Twitter.

And Blackberry should have a Mafia Wars app so I can play alll the time.

I'm not obsessed or anything.

ATTENTION EVERYONE:

Please help me welcome our newest edition to our crew!

Skynet Yoshi Reese Stipes!


PS: I'm sorry Miss Mandei that you missed the birth of your god son! He can't wait to meet you!

<3

Go me!

I've lost 13 lbs so far!

I'm even starting to notice a difference.

Go me.

Yay for my new Blackberry.

I'll get my # out sometime.

Time for works.

Work is going fairly well.

Everything else is well going.

I still can't believe I have 8 weeks of training. Personally, I feel like the stuff that I had to learn at TSYS was way more complicated and involved than learning about phones, plans, and services, which most people are kinda familiar with already seeing as everyone these days has a cell phone. Maybe I'm just assuming that this is going to much easier than it is. It could be the case, but really I kinda think they are just dragging this out for much longer than necessary. I don't really know, and I'm not complaining. I would much rather be in training instead of taking calls on the phone.

I just hope this company is really as good of a place to work as they say it is. I mean I've heard that its not and I've heard that it is. My supervisor at TSYS was a supervisor at Verizon before moving to TSYS and was always complaining about how terrible it was there which is why he left. Also Jeremiah worked there for awhile and said it sucked because every person that called in wanted money, which will likely be the case. I mean I only call Tmobile when I want money so what can I say.

Either way I'm grateful to have a job, and I hope that I'll be able to move out of this position into something more my style sooner rather than later. I also hope that I don't get stuck doing tons and tons more work and not getting paid for it. That was really what annoyed me about TSYS. I would just get more work piled on top of my work because I was good at what I did, but I would never get paid for it, and it wouldn't lead to promotion. It would just lead to more and more work. I hope this is not the case at Verizon.

There are a lot of rules there also, its kinda annoying. Rules are there for a reason and I understand that, but some of them are kind of stupid and kind of useless. Also their dress code is ridiculous. Nothing I own is really within their dress code. It might just be they enforce the dress code more in training, but either way I have to buy a bunch more clothes. When I was up in the call center it appeared that there were a lot of people that were wearing stuff they shouldn't be, so I don't know. Well see. Either way I have to buy a bunch more business clothes. Seeing as my business clothes are considered casual there.

On another note I hate being awake at 5 am to take Pima to work because he's doing someone else's job. Now quite frankly I don't care if he wants to do it or if he volunteered. He shouldn't be taking care of what he's doing. The manager should be doing it. Call me crazy but tearing down the drive thru is kinda a big thing and the store manager should be there for that. Not send someone who is much lower on the chain to take of it. Either way. It's not really my problem, what is my problem is I'm going to be super tired all day. Seeing as my mom doens't have a car and is kinda car pooling to work and kinda driving my dads car sometimes she can't take Pima to work. It wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't so fucking far away and wasted so much gas. My damn work is closer than is and mine is in Chandler. Its ridiculous that I have to drive out to Fountain Hills then come all the way home, just to drive to Chandler.

Ugh. I really hate Pima's job. It causes me so much more stress than is necessary because everyone that works there is fucking doucher. I mean TRANSFER HIM, or he's going to have to quit which pisses me the fuck off also. He needs to work. We need that money. They apparently need him and love him so much that they don't want him to leave! If thats the case actually they should have no problem transfering him to another store. Get someone else to go out to Fountain Hills, he's been doing it for over a year. I think thats enough. Plus it's getting to the point where his job is not worth it. ALL of his money is going to gas and fixing the car because of all the driving back and forth. Of course I don't want him to have to quit, I want them to move him to a closer store. I want them to fucking care, and I want them to not be a bunch of douchers. Meh. We'll see what happens. Probably nothing. He'll just end up quitting and not getting another job and I'll have to support his dumb ass, which I doubt I'm going to do.

I found these apartments that are perfect for our new place to live. They are on Ray and Rural and right in the middle of our works. Its kinda cool. They are also in our price range and they are not trashy looking. There is also an Arby's right there that Pima could work at. I'm pretty excited about moving out. I mean we obviously can't move out for awhile, but still knowing where we want to live and knowing where we are going is good. It will also be nice not to have to spend a ton of money on gas because my work will be right there. Gas is going up again and I really can't afford to spend tons of money on gas all the time.

Things seem to be looking up for me in most cases. We shall see.

I seriously don't like unhelpful people.

Its really fucking annoying.

I hate Arbys with a passion.

Thanks for constantly ruining my life and making things 10 times harder than they have to be.

Fuck every single person that works there.

Fuck Aimee, and Chad.

Fuck you guys for not paying Pima enough money and fuck you for not doing any god damn work. Fuck you for not letting Pima move to another store when you clearly don't fucking pay him enough money to drive 45 minutes to Fountain Hills every day. Fuck you for not promoting him.

Fuck Arbys.

And fuck every other unhelpful asshole on the planet.

Yay for starting work tomorrow!

And Yay for always being right.

<3

I'm cutting every person out of my life that wants to keep playing this fucking high school drama bullshit game. I am a fucking adult, and I do not need to play these stupid little games.

If you don't want to be with someone then fucking break up with them, end of story. There is no playing fucking games and seeing who can piss each other off more. Seriously get the fuck over that shit.

Granted I might be a year older than these people, but still doesn't mean they aren't also adults. One year really doesn't make that much of a fucking difference. Grow the fuck up. Actually do whatever you want. I just won't be your friend.

I am doing the best I can, and I will continue to take care of myself. I am no longer dealing with this shit. I have already cut out most of my stuipd family by simply staying in my room at all hours of the day and I am working on moving the fuck out. Only a few more months and I'm gone. Done with all this shit.

I won't be looking back either. Kevin, Kyle, and dad will be out of my life for good once I get the fuck out of here. The rest of you whiney little cry baby bitches that can't fucking deal with your problems in an adult manner are fucking gone too.

I need to organize things. I don't want to do it. It needs to be done. Organizing isn't one of my best qualities. Unless it has to do with work or school I can't seem to keep things organized. Wonder if you can take a class on organization.

Anyway, fasting starts tomorrow. We shall seeeee how cleansed I feel in a few days.

<3

She says weve got to hold on to what weve got
cause it doesnt make a difference
If we make it or not
Weve got each other and thats a lot
For love - well give it a shot

Whooah, were half way there
Livin on a prayer
Take my hand and well make it - I swear
Livin on a prayer.

I would love to be rich and have lots of money and could wear fancy clothes everyday because I love fancy clothes oh so much! They are just so pretty!

I had a very strange dream last night.

There was a fake game show and apartments, and moving apartments to go to different schools. Then there was Brandon and a letter with a ring in it saying he loved me and wanted to marry me, but couldn't because of some other girl. I was completely freaked out and ran around telling everyone I wasn't giving the ring back. Very strange. It was much weirder I just can't even begin to explain the rest of this wacked out dream.

However, it did make me want to eat sushi! Sounds delish! Anyway, I'm done freaking out now.

Oh and THE JOB IS FINALLY MINE AND NO MORE JUMPING THROUGH HOOPS! NO MORE STRESSING, AND YAY FOR MOVING OUT BY FEB!!! I REALLY CAN NOT WAIT.

Things are starting to look up for me!

<3

W2's and such have been faxed. Hopefully now I won't have to jump through anymore hoops!

<3

Finding these stupid W2's is going to be the end of me. For real.

I know there are here somewhere I just have to find them, or more so my dad has to find them. I hate counting on him to do anything. It makes me sick.

Plus I know there is going to be a few issues here. First of all... I was not employed by Big Surf directly I was employed by Golfland and so they are going to ask about that. I don't if my W2's are going to work for them. Then there is the fact that I was employed at Jack in the box til Jan of 07, but never actually worked in Jan 07 so I don't have a W2 for that year. I don't know what these people are going to say.

They are being completely ridiculous and pay a company a lot of money to do nothing. Its rather irritating. Oh well. We shall see what happens.

Wish me luck. I still need it. I might not even get this stupid job after going through all of this, and that would be heartbreaking. I would die. I need all the luck I can get.

<3

I've looked almost everywhere I can think of for something from Big Surf. My dad filed my taxes that year, and well he's unreliable and probably couldn't find my W2 if it flew out of the file cabinet and right into his hand. I'll ask Pima to find the stuff from when we moved, but ugh. I am starting to think these background check people can't do their damn job! Wouldn't it be way easier if they could just access all my tax records? Shouldn't all background check people do this? I'm confused as to why they call every place you worked. I mean really, thats a waste of time. I can tell you now they aren't going to get any valid information from Jack in the box or Big Surf since apparently they don't keep records? WTF is that about.

I can probably find something from Jack in the box, but Big Surf is going to be suck. If I can't find anything by Monday when the background check place opens again I'll have to call Big Surf myself and see what they have to say. Although I don't think they are going to be very helpful. They never really were. It really was a crappy place to work. Hmmm. I had to take a bunch of drug tests while I worked there though. Good work promoting a drug free environment.

I wonder if they will accept old journal entries that contain me bitching about Big Surf or pictures. Lol. Wouldn't it be a wonderful world if it worked like that. You could google anyone and find every detail about their past lives. It would make things so much easier. However, it would also take away all privacy we have. Suck.

Oh my oh my. What am I going to do!